Jokes: 2012

Sunday, 29 January 2012

HELLO!

HAVE FUN AND FOR OTHER JOKES GO TO
1st SET OF JOKES


OR CHECK OUT THE BONUS JOKE
Here (LINK TO THE BONUS JOKE)

Family!

Teacher: What family does rhinoceros belongs to?
Student: I don't know madam, nobody in our street has one!

Name!

Teacher: Whats our name?
Pupil: Ravi.
Teacher: You should say "sir".
Pupil: OK, Ravi Sir.

Marks!

Teacher: Why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
Pupil: It is not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars so she gave me a moon instead!

World is round!

Teacher: Give me three reasons, why the world is round?
Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mom says so an overall you also say so!

Island!

Teacher: What is an island?
Pupil: A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
Teacher: On one side?
Pupil: Yes, on the top!

Tax!

1st person: I hate paying income tax.
2nd person: You should be a good citizen, why don't you pay with a smile?
1st person: I'd like to but they insist on money!

Millionaire!

Can I borrow a book of yours-"How to become a millionaire?"
Sure. Here you are!
Thanks- but half the pages are missing, whats the matter?
Is'nt half a millionaire enough for you? 

Robbed!

A man was being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight. Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only 2 cents in the wallet, the surprised thug said, " Why did you put up such a fight?" to which the man promptly replied, " I was afraid that you will find 2000 dollars hidden in my shoe!"

Memories!

First kid: Once I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on earth unconsciously.
Second kid: Oh my god! Did you survive the accident OR YOU DIED?
First kid: I DON'T REMEMBER exactly, I was only 3 YEARS OLD!

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Clothes!

Santa to shopkeeper: I want to a piece of cloth.
Shopkeeper: May I show you it in design or plane?
Santa: No show me in helicopter! You dumbo show it to me here only.

Discovery!

Science teacher to students: Oxygen is a must for life and was discovered in 1773.
One student: Thank god i was born after 1773 or I would have died without it!

Sale!

Salesman to his girlfriend: Will you marry me?
Girlfriend took a long time to think so the salesman said in his own 'salesman accent'
' Think fast, the golden offer lasts only for today."

Ashtray!

Businessman to servant: See, there is an ashtray in my bedroom, bring it to me.
Servant: (After bringing the ashtray) Sir, what will you do with it? Some son of a bitch has already filled it with ash!

Friday, 27 January 2012

A conversation Part-1!

Idiot: Sir I am robbed!
Policeman: What happened?
Idiot: The thief took everything i had, my money, my watches, and even my shoes! They only lest my TV.
Policeman: Why did they leave it?
Idiot: I was watching it at that time.

A conversation-Part-2!

Idiot to policeman: Sir i am robbed!
Policeman; What happened?
Idiot: The thief took everything I had, m money, my watches and even my shoes.
Policeman: You did not have a gun or pistol?
Idiot: Yeah! i am not such a big fool, i hid it in my pocket!

History!

Teacher: Monu can you tell me something about the scientists of 17th century.
monu: Yes sir, they are all dead.

Next Life!

Idiot to astrologer: Please tell me if I would be a donkey in my next life?
Astrologer: (After watching his hand) It is not compulsory that you will get the same life twice.

Knew it!

Idiot1: My grandfather already knew 10 days before his death that when and how he will die!
Idiot2: How, did a astrologer tell him?
Idiot1: No, the judge told!

Mad teacher!

Monu to his mother: Mom, my teacher has gone mad.
Mother: What happened?
Monu: Yesterday he said 5+5=10, and today he said 7+3=10.

Job!

Teacher to Amit; What would you like to become when you grow up?
Amit: A teacher.
Teacher: Well that's a good thing, but why?
Amit: I am fed up of answering the questions, I want to become a teacher so that I can ask questions from others.